How to annoy the demigods
by daughterofares97
Summary: Basically what the title says. Sequel to How to annoy the gods.
1. Chapter 1

**AAAHHH I accidently uploaded the wrong document to this story.**

**Percy:**

1) Tell Annabeth he's dumping her for Ariel.

2) Tie him up and force-feed him fish

3) Take a wet fish and start slapping him around the face with it.

4) Steal Riptide and replace it with an ordinary ballpoint pen

5) Constantly poke him in the small of the back (his Achilles heel)

6) Inform him about all the Percy/Luke and Percy/Nico fics

7) Tell Artemis what 'Pertemis' is, she will do the rest.

8) Tell him that you know he's the lightning thief

9) Fill his cabin with seaweed

10) Tell him that 'Pothena' (Poseidon and Athena) are getting married, so Annabeth will be his new sister.


	2. Chapter 2

**Annabeth:**

1) Call her a dumb blond

2) Tell as many blond jokes in her presence as possible.

3) Scream SPIDER as loud as you can whenever she falls asleep

4) Give her books about helping her control her arachnophobia (fear of spiders)

5) Drug her and tattoo 'Prachel 4 evah' on her (this works two ways as she hates Percy/Rachel, and she will hate the incorrect, fangirly spelling)

6) Call her Hedwig.

7) Call her a barbie girl

8) Replace her hat with a normal yankees cap.

9) Tell her that Hera is the most awesome goddess ever.

10) Give Percy a potion which makes him fall in love with either Rachel or Reyna.

11) Be Rachel, nuff said.

**Next up is Nico, but you can tell me who you want after that.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Nico:**

1) Call him emo.

2) Sing the emo song whenever he walks into a room

3) Give him a long lecture about why cutting yourself is wrong

4) Scream and run away whenever he walks into a room.

5) Paint the Hades cabin hot pink

6) Fill his shampoo with pink hair dye.

7) Call him Professor Snape.

8) Tell him myth-o-magic is a sissy's game.

9) Constantly remind him about the time Persephone turned him into a daisy.

10) Bitch slap him at random times for no apparant reason.

**Next up is Thalia.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I know the last one wasn't that good, I just had a mind blank, anyway I promise this one is better:**

**Thalia**

1) Send her links to all the Thalico fics (especially the m-rated ones), better yet, send them to Artemis.

2) Publically give her lectures explaining to her ways to control her vertigo.

3) Call her and the rest of the hunters lesbians

4) Replace all her Green Day **(awesome band) **songs, posters etc. with Justin **(I-sound-like-a-girl)** Bieberstuff.

5) Tell her that she will never be as good as Zoe.

6) Tell her that Artemis has turned Jason into a jackalope (then present her with a jackalope, telling her its him)

7) Tie her to a chair and release upon her the full wrath of the Aphrodite cabin.

8) Tie her up and decorate her like a Christmas tree (**because she was a pine tree)**

9) Tell her that you were Luke's one true love, and that he hates her.

10) Tell her that Luke only killed himself to get away from her.

**I hope this one was better.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am going away tomorrow (yeeeessss), I will get back sunday afternnon, so I may not update, but I'll try.**

* * *

><p><strong>Luke:<strong>

1) Tell him that your evil laugh is better than his evil laugh.

2) Give him stuffed monsters for Christmas.

3) Tell Thalia that Luke has come back to the good side, but is going out with Annabeth.

4) Tell Annabeth that Luke has come back to the good side, but is going out with Thalia.

5) Go over to the dark side, and constantly ask him for cookies

6) When he doesn't give you any, bitch slap him and scream "THE COOKIES ARE A LIE"

7) Tell him that suicide is never the answer

8) Tell him that you like his pretty, golden eyes.

9) Force him to watch Pretty Little Liars **(worst show ever)**

10) Make Darth Vader noises whenever he walks past

11) Come up to him and say Luke, I am your father.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sorry my beloved sister!

Clarisse:

1) Steal lamer, I mean maimer

2) Tie her to a chair and set the Aphrodite cabin loose.

3) Constantly flirt with Chris

4) Whenever she starts talking to you shake your head and say "I don't know what Chris sees in you".

5) Replace all her weapons with plastic toy weapons.

6) If your one of our siblings: Act all girly, destroying the Ares cabin's reputation.

7) Constantly remind her about the time Percy beat her in a fight.

8) Challenge her to a duel, and then never show up

9) Follow her around, constantly slapping her with a wet fish.

10) Shave her head in her sleep.

11) Constantly refer to Chris as gay, when she asks you why you think this, say "because you're his boyfriend, duh."


	7. Chapter 7

**I have not yet read The Son of Neptune, because I haven't been able to find a copy of the book, so I can't do their characters. But I'm in the US, so I can buy a copy (and will probably have finished reading it by Monday).**

**The Stoll brothers (ya gotta love 'em)**

1) Pull a series of stupid, unimaginative pranks and blame them on them.

2) Take all the credit for their pranks.

3) Refer to them only as 'Luke's little bro's'

4) Corner them and whisper secretively 'your secret is safe with me', refuse to tell them what that secret is.

5) Explain to Travis in detail what Tratie is.

6) Explain to Katie in detail what Tratie is, laugh as she beats Travis up.

7) Prank the Ares cabin, and blame it on them, but be warned I will hunt you down and kill you.

8) Refer to them as Fred and George Weasley.

9) Give all your mail to them with explicit instructions as to what to do with it.

9) Call them tweedledum and tweedledee.

10) Alternatively, refer to them as dumb and dumber.


	8. Chapter 8

Piper:

1) Call her the pied piper.

2) Constantly ask for her Dad's autograph

3) Put up 'King of Sparta' posters everywhere.

4) Flirt with Jason

5) Tell her that Jason is your boyfriend from when he was at camp Legion  
>NOTE: this works best if you're a boy :)<p>

6) Be Reyna

7) Or Drew.

8) Hex her so that she has to wear the shoes of shame for all eternity.

9) Tell her the magical glowing hedgehogs are after her.

10) Call her Sacagawea

11) Call her the dumpster queen. 


	9. Chapter 9

**I would just like to say that I do not ship Jeo (?) in any way, shape or form, because Leo is MINE.**

**Jason**

1) Tell Piper that Leo and Jason are going out

2) Tell Leo that Jason is gay and in love with him

3) Ask to see his coin, then say 'oh sorry you broke it'.

4) Tell him that Thalia always liked Luke better

5) Ask/bribe/blackmail Drew into charmspeaking him to kiss you in front of Piper.

6) Jump off of buildings screaming flame on in front of him so he has to save you.

7) Alternatively push Piper off a building in front of him

8) Repeatedly zap him with a tazer, when he gets mad scream 'Now you know how it feels, bitch'

9) Call him gay for wearing a purple shirt.

10) Tell him that both camps are fighting over who gets to take him, both want the other to take him back cause everyone hates him

11) Offer to cook him and Piper dinner, give them staplers.

12) Tell him, very seriously, that he is Leo's uncle, so he should not be corrupting him by doing all those naughty things with him at night.


	10. Chapter 10

**HE'S MINE!**

**Leo:**

1) Tell him that Thalia has left the hunt, when he gets excited say 'Never mind, she didn't'

2) Call him a Vulcan or an elf

3) Constantly remind him about Festus

4) Tell him that he was beaten by potty sludge.

5) Whenever he uses his fire powers scream and run away

6) Kidnap him, tie him to a chair and force him to watch twilight.

7) Tell him that his insane babysitter is after him

8) Whenever he's studying the plans for the Argo II say 'Awwww, look at wittle Leo and his cwayons.'

9) Scream flame on whenever he uses his fire power.

10) Tell him the evil potty sludge is after him


	11. Chapter 11

**Grover (even though he's not a demigod)**

1) Tell him the great god Pan is still alive. Show him a frying pan.

2) Call him a garbage disposal unit.

3) Throw random garbage at him (but never tin cans)

4) Threaten to chop down Juniper's tree.

5) Call him a roman faun

6) Call him Tumnus

7) Kidnap him and demand to know where the entrance to Narnia is.

8) Laugh at him for falling in love with a plant

9) Tell him Artemis is in love with him

10) Chop his horns off and sell them as 'real unicorn horns'


	12. Chapter 12

**Rachel (I know shes not a demigod either)**

1) Refer to her only as 'that rich bitch'

2) constantly ask to borrow her family's money

3) Send Apollo links to all the Prachel and Nico/Rachel fics.

4) Steal all her artwork and spray paint all over it.

5) Ask her to predict your test questions

6) Tell her that you preferred the mummy

7) Kidnap her and dye her hair black

8) Tell her that Percy never liked her because she wasn't blond

9) Steal all of her hairbrushes and start throwing them at random people.


	13. Chapter 13

**Tyson:**

1) Kidnap Percy, and hold him for ransom. Demand Tyson's entire collection of peanut butter.

2) Tell him that Polyphemus is Poseidon's favorite son

3) Steal his peanut butter and replace it with marmite _*shudder*_

4) Tell him that he needs glasses, only give him pairs with two lenses

5)Tell him that Annabeth hates all cyclopses, including him, and never wants to see one again

6) Then tell him that Percy respects Annabeth's wishes, and so is never going to talk to him again.

7) Tell him that the fish ponies have turned evil and are coming to get him.

8) Tell him that Ella is leaving him for Polyphemus.

9) Steal all of his sticks.


	14. Chapter 14

**Butch:**

1) Call him the pony guy.

2) Whenever he's around start singing "and Butch collects ceramic unicorns" **(from the song I've got a dream, from Tangled)**

3) Whenever he walks by, throw skittles at him and scream 'Taste the rainbow'

4) Call him a magical fairy

5) Tell all the young demigods that he has candy

6)...Then laugh as he is mobbed by them.

7) Steal all his clothes and die them black

8) Call him the horse whisperer.

9) Tell him that Percy has turned all the pegasi against him


	15. Chapter 15

**Frank:**

1) Steal his stick and threaten to burn it.

2) Tell him that only wimps use bow and arrows.

3) Tell him that Hazel loves Leo, not him.

4) ask him to change into a unicorn

5) Constantly call him 'baby face'

**Hazel:**

1) Keep asking her to summon you up jewels

2) Tell her that the wheat is after her

3) Force her to watch the Princess and the Frog


	16. Chapter 16

**Meant to upload this several days ago, was too lazy _*hangs head in shame*_**

Octavian:

1) Set all the little Greek children on him for murdering their teddy bears

2) Sign him up to be a TOYS R US kid.

3) List the many ways in which Greeks are superior to Romans.

4) Whenever he walks past start singing 'Reyna and Octavian sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love then comes marriage. Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

5) Bonus points if Reyna is there.

6) Constantly remind him about how Mars humiliated him.

7) Steal all his teddy bears and replace them with plastic toys.

8) Tell him you have found the Sibylline books, but you'll only let him look at them if he dresses in drag and does the hula.

9) Video tape him doing it

10) Broadcast the movie on Hephaestus TV and Vulcan TV

11) Refer to him only as the boy that got pwned by Percy Jackson.

12) Buy him a stress ball, and tell him to take his anger out on it, not the poor defenseless teddies.

**That was probably my favorite chapter.**


	17. Chapter 17

**_My blog is better than yours,_ I almost burst into tears of hysterics when I read your review, it was epic XD.**

Reyna:

1) Nominate her to be leader of the 'We love Jason/Piper club'

2) Tell her that Jason doesn't like her anymore, because Piper is 'like, so totally hotter than she is'

3) Tell her that Octavian has uncovered a prophecy that says she and Leo are destined to be together forever.

4) Whenever she walks past start singing 'Jason and Piper sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G'

5) Call her a cougar for trying to go out with Jason

6) Point out that Jason is technically her uncle

7) Forge a letter from Piper and Jason, asking her to be the flower girl at their wedding.

8) Send her a love e-mail, signed Jason. Send another e-mail a couple minutes later which says 'sorry, wrong girl'

9) Tell her Percy doesn't want to go out with her because she's not a blond.

**Read my other story Misheard Conversations (first chapter out today)**

**Merry belated Christmas!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Unless I get a sudden flash of inspiration, this will be the last chapter. :(**

**Dakota:**

1) Replace all his Kool-Aid with sugar-free Kool-Aid **(A/N this actually exists XP)**

2) Tell him Gwen likes him, when he confronts her about this beat Gwen up for 'trying to steal your man'

3) Refer to him by random states (e.g. Kansas, Illinois, Utah), but never Dakota.\

4) Sign him up for alcoholics anonymous

**Gwen:**

1) Tell her she should be in the underworld, so now you're going to have to send her back.

2) Tell her you wish she had stayed dead.

3) …and that you think Octavian is a hero for trying to kill her

4) Tell her that Octavian obviously has a crush on her, he tries to kill all the girls he likes.

**Read my other story XO**


	19. Chapter 19

**Yay! The inspiration pony didn't completely abandon me.**

**Chiron:**

1) Drug him and paint him like a 'my little pony

2) tell him that he is Zeus' bitch

3) Tell all the young campers that he is giving free pony rides

**Katie:**

1) Explain to her in great detail what 'Tratie'

2) Tell her that Travis is talking with Hades about how to get a  
>girlfriend<p>

**Chris Rodriguez:**

1) Ask him how his boyfriend, Clarisse, is doing.

**Clovis:**

1) Hide various alarm clocks around the Hypnos cabin

2) Tell him that Octavian is after his teddy bears.

**Will Solace**

1) Refer to him only as 'Sunny boy'

2) Tell him that he isn't hot enough to be Apollo's son

**Read the oneshot I am just about to upload.**


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